A year ago I fell in love with the most amazing boy. And not the silly “crush” fling thing either. It was real. Deep. Crazy. Desperate. love.. It took a while for me to open my eyes and realize what I had. But the minute I saw it.. He was mine. And I was his. I was always his. I will always be his in some way. And now.. I still feel that way. deep, crazy, desperate. still so in love. but so lost.. and so alone. And it’s so painful. Just as I feel myself getting stronger.. it hits me all over again. He’s gone. Really gone. And he doesn’t love me anymore. Nothing could hurt me more. I miss us. so much. I miss everything. The way his lips feel against mine.. even in the mornings when they were in desperate need of chapstick and how he hated when I put it on. And I miss cuddling next to him and him holding me in his arms for hours. Watching each others favorite movies.. Dancing. Laughing. Being silly. All the things that made us, us. It was so special. And now it’s just…. gone. And I’m desperately trying to find a way to move on.. somebody please save me. This is for the best you know. I couldn’t give him everything.. I couldn’t be there to cuddle at the end of a bad day.. and I couldn’t be there to celebrate the good ones. Not yet. Not for a long time. I gave him everything I had. And it wasn’t good enough. He deserves to be so happy. So enough. Happy belated May 13th. </3  I hope you find love the way I love you.